To be honest I don't even know how to get back into this - so I've rationalized that confessing would be the best route. I guess this is mostly for me to get off my chest, and to help show you all that I am human. I go through stuff just like the rest of you.
I broke away from something I loved deeply - writing my blogs and really connecting // serving my tribe. The time off was all for good purpose. You see, you can't pour into others until you've poured into yourself. And that's what I have been doing the past few months (while in absence from my blog and most interaction on Instagram).
I've made incredibly bold, scary, and challenging decisions that have really forced me to look inward toward what I want from life, what makes me happy, and who I want to connect with. I feel beyond refreshed, completely clear and level headed and ready to rock this!
(And I'm hoping this will lead to amazing content for you readers!)
I made the decision to leave my son's father, the man who had been my constant over the last near eight years. Someone I wanted to spend my life with. Someone I gave literally my all to. Someone I changed for. Someone I sacrificed so much for. Someone I thought I was growing with, yet I finally realized we were growing further and further apart. The choice was hard to make, something like that never is easy when you truly love someone. After doing some intense soul searching and making several positive changes in my life, it ended up awakening me to the pain I was putting myself through each day by trying to hold on.
Letting go is a challenging and scary thing to do. We all get to a certain level of comfort and a lot of times things are just easier "sucking up" versus perusing how you truly feel. I'm learning it is okay for people to take longer to grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I am also learning it is okay for you to distance yourself from those people who are not on your level (or near it) because you have every right to be around those who can relate & support you - people who will help you LEVEL UP.
Diving into the world of single motherhood is a scary thing... all that talk of child support, figuring all the visitation, and of course all the questions from everyone - on top of how you already feel going through something like that - and now being the only one paying the bills...
All at the same time of going through this I randomly [I say random, but this is straight how the universe works] connect with an amazing guy through a fellow #BossBabe & business partner. Our connection right of the bat was so powerful there was so much telling me to just give it a shot. Here the universe gives me literally everything I had been searching for in a partner. Someone to challenge me to be a better me. Someone to love me for me. Someone to grow with me on a spiritual level. We've been doing this our way & I couldn't be happier & more excited for the future.
The most important things I've learned over this time are these four simple things to accept:
1. You can't control timing (nor do you need to explain it to anyone) - know it is all in the way the universe plays out. There is no such thing as coincidence.
2. You can't live a life being something other than yourself - if you are QUIT. You will drown in feelings of regret, disappointment, and other negativity. The universe will give you people to love you for who you are if you trust it.
3. You can't ever give up - no matter how bad you feel, how scared you are, how tough things are, how tired you are, how much you want to quit and walk away from it all, you can NOT give up. You are meant to reach your ultimate potential.
4. Put yourself first once in a while IT IS OKAY!!! - as a fellow mom, I understand, you're accustomed to putting EVERYONE else before yourself. It feels uncomfortable at first, but do it a few times and you'll feel like a brand new person.
You can't be your best you if you don't put yourself first once in a while.